The WhackMan Reviews: Smoking Hot

This hardcore entry from Filmco leaves a shit-ton to be desired. The WhackMan and his girls from the neighborhood could make a better porn flick, and have.

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First we get to meet Ms. Heidi Rain, a slender bleach blond who is literally smoking. She wastes no time telling you that she likes her pussy to taste like a cigarette, then quickly introduces you to some blond cow of girl doing a shitty striptease. This bitch is smoking too, and the only cool thing about seeing this unattractive mess of a woman gettin’ her freak on is when she blows smoke on her dude’s dick. And this fuck can’t even stay hard (The WhackMan doesn’t blame him) despite the fact that he was wearing a silver cock ring. Scene 1 was an utter waste of The WhackMan’s time.

Pamela Peaks and her huge whore bag tits are up next. She is of course smoking, and this soon to be fully train-wrecked porn veteran needs to start making some serious life decisions. She spends nearly the entire scene with either her cigarette or John West’s dick in her mouth. The titty fucking is awesome and her shaved pussy looks nice and tight, but in the end her homeboy did - The WhackMan thinks - orgasm, the only problem was nothing came out of his cock. Scene 2 wasted more of The WhackMan’s time.

Scene 3 features Kate Frost, a serious piece of porn star ass who knows how to grind all up on a cock. This chick would surely take home the gold if they ever have a Hand Job Olympics, and she can take a cumshot right in her face with the best of ‘em.

Scene 4 star Michele Raven needs to get that aging ass of hers into a gym. All she’s really good for is some serious face fucking, which is nice, but that whole smoking a cigar with her pussy shit is pure poetry. You can literally see the stogie flame up and the smoke coming out of her cunt. In The WhackMan’s book that’s pure talent.

And the last waste of The WhackMan’s time was Ms. Heidi Rain. As she stroked and played with her black haired pussy and purple vibrator, The WhackMan wondered to himself: Is there a whiter bitch fucking on film today? Probably not. She phones the whole scene in and if you look and listen carefully when she’s moaning you get a great look at a shitty dub job.

The WhackMan could only blow 1 fucking load to this Smoking Hot piece of shit. Fuck you Filmco!

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Latin Adultery — Havana Ginger (12/8/06)

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I love the cat and mouse adultery game of Latin Adultery, and this scene with Havana Ginger is HOT!! I love the build up to the sex … when they both still have their clothes on, she is riding him, telling him how much she loves cheating on her husband with him. It’s very sensual and hot how she is grinding his crotch and letting him know how into him she is, and he’s telling her how gorgeous she is. She wants to get his dick good and hard, and I swear they look and act like a real couple.

So as the story goes, Havana and Seth don’t want to get caught by her husband, but she loves cheating on him with Seth because he fucks her like her husband doesn’t: in the ass!! When she says, “Fuck me the way my husband doesn’t … fuck my ass.” … I melted.

Havana is fucking sexy with her long black hair, brown eyes, and huge fake boobs. And she is so sensual … the way she moves, grinding her hips on Seth and how she looks at him. Very hot. And she starts talking about how he’s going to fuck her ass today from the minute they start making out, so the tension and build up to that is very hot.

They start in missionary, with him in her pussy, but then quickly move to anal, with her in reverse cowgirl. And she is bouncing up and down hard on his dick, and he is pounding her from underneath. And when they are both on their sides and he’s still in her ass, you can really see it going in there deep. “Aye, papi!!”

Neighbor Affair — McKenzee Miles and Micah Moore (12/6/06)

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This scene is so hot!! Just look at those two girls!! This Neighbor Affair is a threesome, and it doesn’t get much hotter than McKenzee Miles and Micah Moore. Daniel is pretty fucking cute, too.

Both girls are so pretty with small natural breasts and hard little bodies … mmmm, I love them both. To me they are both the perfect body type … small and tight and toned. Just delicious. ;)

The set up of the scene is very much “good little rich girl gone bad” cuz you know when Micah’s parents are away, the mice will play. McKenzee is the bad girl who isn’t allowed in Micah’s house, unless of course her parents are away, so they’re just dying to break as many rules as they can. First up, let’s invite that cutie neighbor Daniel over.

Threesomes are hot for a lot of reasons, but one big one is watching two girls suck a cock at the same time, licking it up and down on both sides and stroking it … just giving that dick as much attention as possible … tongues and hands and lips everywhere. And a big ol’ smile on Daniel’s face. And when Micah starts to deep throat, McKenzee plays with her pussy to get herself good and ready for the good times to cum.

Micah though is the first to party, as she climbs on top for some cowgirl while McKenzee watches, still playing with herself and wanting to get a taste of Micah’s pussy off Daniel’s cock, but Micah looks like she doesn’t want to stop bouncing up and down on Daniel’s cock. She doesn’t have to give it up for good though … after a little dick sucking, she is back to riding.

Then finally it is McKenzee’s turn, and she jumps on for reverse cowgirl while Micah watches, fingering herself and playing with her clit. Micah then sucks his cock for a bit before he goes back to pounding McKenzee, and then Micah stands over McKenzee’s face and lets her eat her pussy … then they switch again, this time doggy, with Micah getting pounded and eating McKenzee’s pussy.

And you gotta give it to Daniel for equal opportunity fucking because I swear he gives the same amount of attention to each of these girls, and can you blame him? How do you choose? They’re both so fucking hot!! I think it’s sad when I’m watching (or participating in) a threesome and one person gets more attention than the other. That’s always so awkward … but this scene ends with Daniel back to fucking McKenzee in missionary before the hot-as-fuck cum shot on Micah’s face with a cum swap.

Personally, I think cum swapping is pretty nasty, and I don’t do it in my personal life, but there’s something about watching it in porn that I love … kinda like the cum facial, I guess. It’s just so dirty hot that I love it. And these girls are so pretty, I can’t think of them as dirty. ;)

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Diary of a Milf — Angel Cassidy (12/6/06)

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I think Angel Cassidy’s request seems fair. If Christian wants a ride to the airport, he better give her a ride to O-town first … and so begins this episode of Diary of a Milf. This was the first time I had seen Angel Cassidy, and she is beautiful.

She has long pretty blonde hair and green eyes, and her blonde hair is beautifully offset with her super tan body, and damn … I can’t stop looking at those big titties. And then once Christian starts eating her pussy, I can’t stop looking at her pretty pink pussy. I like how she spreads her legs open wide … really wide, and Brett gives us some nice close-ups, while Angel seems fully aware at all times of where the camera is and gives us good shots, too. So this scene is really good stuff. And hot. :smile:

Once they start fucking, in missionary first, the two of them look great together … both very tan, and she is so sexy, putting her body in all kinds of sexy positions. I really like how she holds both ankles to spread her legs wide open, so his hard body and big dick are in full view. Mmmm… how I love Christian’s body. Fucking perfect.

During doggy, I gotta give props to Brett for all the great close-ups of her slapping her clit while he does her from behind … nice and deep. Then in cowgirl, she’s bouncing up and down on his big dick and begging him to do her hard, until she is sent through the roof into multiple orgasms … and you can see how wet and juicy she is. Angel and Christian (ha … I never realized until now how funny both their names are together) are both super hot in this scene, and you can tell they are so into each other. Two very professional porn stars who love to fuck and look great together. Awesome.

My Sister’s Hot Friend — Trina Michaels (12/6/06)

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Trina Michaels has a banging body. Wow. She’s seriously a brick shithouse if I ever saw one. Just bangin’. So for that, among other things, I enjoyed watching this My Sister’s Hot Friend. She has straight blondish brown hair and is really tan and super stacked. And her belly shirt and short skirt do a good job of showing off her rockin’ bod … big boobs, solid bod, and athletic legs … with not an ounce of fat. I can just tell her legs are strong as fuck. And she has a clit piercing, which of course gives her some street cred as a hot bad ass.

After all the foreplay, which starts with Barry eating her pussy with some yummy dangly spit, he starts fucking her tig ol’ bitties. And she licks her tits while he does it … that’s hot!! Then she goes back into a blowjob that she started before the titty fuck.

The sex starts with missionary, as he teases her with his cock … you know, just the tip. Just for a second, just to see how it feels. But once he does decide to give it to her … well, damn. He pounds her hard and fast.

I love the camera angle when they go into doggy style because there’s a nice close-up as she rubs her clit while he fucks her, and he is glistening with sweat. Hot. Yep, folks, literally hot. ;) And then as they race to the final climax, we have some side spooning with some pretty fierce jackhammer pounding, and then yep … you guessed it. He cums on her face … and I bet that’s hot, too. ;)

Ass Masterpiece — Daryn Darby #2 (12/5/06)

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This Ass Masterpiece with Daryn Darby was funny because at first I thought it was going to be an anal scene, but then it wasn’t. Oh well, cuz as much as I love anal, this pussy only scene was still hot.

Daryn’s a pretty girl with blonde hair on top and reddish brown underneath and big brown eyes … nice combo … and damn, she has a big ol’ juicy booty. Just look at that pic … that’s one luscious booty. She has piercings in her face and belly and big boobies. I’m not sure if they’re fake or real, but if they’re fake, they are one helluva good job. And I love her cute little cherry outfit with a skirt, and her white go-go boots that she leaves on during the scene are the best!!

The scene starts with her dancing, of course, and then she says, “Come hither, big hard cock.” And that made me laugh out loud … I mean, if Shakespeare were alive today …. :smile:

Can I just tell you how much I love Jeremy Holmes? Love him. He loves the ladies … even the young ones like Darby … cuz you know how he really loves his milfs. :smile: But he eats good pussy, and it just looks like he’s a happy guy and wants everyone to be happy. And he finger bangs. He rubs her clit and uses his fingers … I mean, he really gets into it with the finger fucking. Just read my My Friend’s Hot Mom blog on Sophia Mounds if you want to know more about my thoughts on finger banging. ;)

And while Jeremy is fucking Daryn, I can tell he just loves her pussy, and I love watching a scene like that … and every Jeremy scene is like that. Yeah, Jeremy’s the shit. He loves women, and I can tell he loves his job. It’s for real, and that makes everything more fun and more believable. The first position is doggy, and she is face down on the bed and her ass is just smackin’!! She is just bouncing her ass on his cock, and he is pounding her hard. So fucking hot, and then when she jumps on top for some cowgirl, he starts smacking her ass and she’s loving it as her ass cheeks turn red.

At the end of this hot scene … cuz you can just tell they’ve been so into each other the whole time … she begs for his hot cum. “Cum in my mouth so I can swallow it.” And she does. :smile:

Naughty Office — Aline (12/5/06)

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Aline is so beautiful and so sensual in this episode of Naughty Office, that I was drawn into the scene immediately and believed in it. She really does want Eric to teach her a lesson and show her who’s boss, and damn … if he doesn’t show her. Super hot scene.

Aline has long blonde hair and dark green eyes, and I think it should be a prerequisite at Naughty Office for girls to have nice long legs and a tight ass so they look good bent over the desk … and Aline is perfect for the role. Her legs are gorgeous, and you could bounce a quarter off her ass.

During the blowjob scene, you can tell she likes his big dick, as she licks the shaft and kisses his stomach. There’s just something so sensual about her, the way she moves and kisses and caresses … even the way she breathes. Very hot and very sexy.

She loves it when he licks her ass … she asks for it and loves that he obliges. And when he’s eating her pussy, he tongues her deep and sucks her clit. That Eric Masterson is good at what he does. ;)

Then during the whole time he’s fucking her … in standing missionary, doggy standing, and doggy laying down on desk … she is begging him to fuck her and teach her a lesson. She wants him to show her who the boss is, and he does, especially when they are lying on the desk and he’s pounding her pussy super hard and deep.

The WhackMan Reviews: Bang It

From Acid Rain and directed by Bobby Damone, Bang It is a pretty cool piece of hardcore porn that doesn’t fuck around or waste your time.

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First up is the sexy sweet combo of Lucy Lee & Haley Paige. Both girls get their suck some cock on then move right into the hard stuff. After ass-fucking Haley, the dude gets his dick licked clean by Lucy. That’s Ass-To-Mouth for all you novices out there, then while getting fucked Haley licks all up in Lucy’s tight box. Asses and titties get smacked and spit on, and soon the anal toys get inserted, both girls eventually licking them clean. Lucy at one point even shouts out, “How’s that fuckin’ ass taste?!” Pure filth. Pure brilliance.

Scene 2 features one of the sexiest girls The WhackMan has ever seen in a porn flick. Sativa Rose and that perfect body of hers gets fucked like a schoolgirl by Lee Stone and his infamous long bent cock. There’s a lot of good hot fucking in this scene, my friends. The WhackMan had to pace himself.

The red-heads, ah the red-heads… Audrey Hollander is such a good ol’ fashioned slut that she needs two dicks to satisfy her, and several times throughout the film she’ll have both of them in her mouth at the same time. She gets fucked in her dirty whore ass for what seems like forever, and in the end this crazy bitch pulls her gaping asshole apart with both hands, then gets ass-fucked some more. Neither one of her dudes goes anywhere near her pussy till about ¾ of the way through the scene, but once one does Audrey ends in DP Heaven. Audrey Hollander is one of the biggest sluts The WhackMan has ever seen.

Blond trashy Trina Michaels with her big fake tits and pierced clit and tongue are up next. Her foreign dudes smack the shit outta her and generally treats her like the dirty whore that she is. She goes ass-to-mouth and gets piped like a slut should, and after both dudes blow in her mouth she lets their man glue drip down her chin to those plastic breasts of hers.

Deja Daire and her little girl voice and flat chest finish things up. Lee Stone slays her ass with his rod, burying his cock so far up this girl’s ass that The WhackMan felt her pain. This is some great ass-fucking.

The WhackMan was able to rub out 7 loads to this title, thanks mainly to Miss Sativa Rose. She is such a hot piece of ass. The WhackMan will never forget the first porn starlet to make him cum 3 times! Get your hands on Bang It as soon as you can.

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A trailer trash MILF strip tease

With TrailerTrashWhores.com there’s always time to watch a mature naughty lady like this blonde trailer trash woman stripping down to her stockings and start caressing her body, huge breasts and hairy pussy!

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See this Trailer Trash MILF take all of her clothes off exposing her big tits and hairy pussy while playing with herself and only keeping her stockings on!

A wet panties sniffing and licking teen

At XXXPantySniff.com this adorable redhead teen likes nothing better than masturbate in front of you with her panties on, leaking her sticky cum in them so she can slide them down and bring the wet panties to her nose and tongue!

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Look at this redhead teen’s Panties Fetish as she fingers her shaven pussy lips and clit through her sexy panties then takes them off to sniff and lick her juices covered panties!

Open up and say Ahh….

I am NOT talking about this.

I am talking about Leah Luv choking down a giant load from a cock. Leah is 19 year old, she loves licorice and she’s “sometimes bi-sexual” (I tried to get her to explain that concept, but I didn’t really understand. I guess when she feels like it, she likes to eat pussy?). She’s got this great trimmed blonde downstairs. She’s a fun one.

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Rafaela Reed: Poor Sick Baby Gangster

It’s just not a good day for Baby Gangster. He has
the flu and it seems the bug that he caught, gets him
hard! He needs medical attention and some tender loving
care, ASAP! Poor fucker! Fortunately for him, in comes
our luscious Incredible Pass model, Rafaela. Rafaela
did what the doctor ordered and so much more. She wastes
no time treating Baby Gangster. Her maternal instinct
(or is that fetish) seems to have served her well.
Baby gangster is slowly recuperating, and also falling
for our resident bitch! But sluts like never stay for
long.

Her lust had swiftly wandered elsewhere into another.
I guess you can only play with a circus midget for
so long, she got bored. Who are we to blame her? But
Gangster wants retribution. He hates being manipulated.
(Karma finally meets up with, yes?) Now, he’s angry.
Our midget avenges himself with a grudge fuck that’s
far worth the price of admission. Watch as hot ass
nasty blonde nurse Rafaela gets her comeuppance as
a midget gets his pound of flesh. As justice is met
Incredible Pass-style, Baby Gangster gets some help
from an unlikely source. Intrigued? Watch it and see
how it all ends!

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Christine Abir - Kuwait’s Best Kept Secret!

Christine has a lot to bitch about and most of her kvetching had to do with us Americans. She says Americans are too full of themselves and Americans want to control the world! Americans this… Americans that! We’re nothing less than the devils they read in the Koran! But we want to tell her that not all Americans are overbearing assholes. We can be nice people. We do have hearts of gold too. But despite our efforts, Christine never backed down. The Boss has gotten tired of her talking and did one maneuver that surely shut her trap. He reached down into his pockets, really hard and pulled out a huge wad of cash. Christine’s eyes bulged as she saw that much dough. And yes, her mouth suddenly stopped flapping and went slack with amazement. It was only then that her views had suddenly become agreeable. She confesses that American dollars had been her first love, add that with another of her loves and you have a porno. I guess you already know what that other love is.

Sooner than we can say Kuwait whore, Christine goes all out American cock. This twenty-two year old may have a distaste for Americans, but see how quickly she changes her mind. She hunkers down for a generous meal of woody, enjoying it like it’s last piece of edible meat on Earth! She then gets down and dirty, spreading her pussy lips wide for American meat! She eagerly plunges our stud’s red hot poker into her young and willing twat! She wants to show how nasty she can be for the almight dollar, and the almighty cock! Not bad for a first timer!

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Joon Mali’s oiled Asian slit

After my shower, I love to cover my entire Asian body in slippery smooth baby oil!  The baby oil keeps my delicate teen skin smooth and feels sooo good being rubbed into all of my naughty places!!!  I take the bottle of oil and pour a generous portion of oil into my hands and start with my tender petite boobies!  I know they are small, but I think they are still cute.  As I rub my Asian tits, my nipples start to get erect!!!!  My nipples are almost like small brown chocolate pieces, and I love to have them licked and sucked on.  If my boobs were a little bigger I would like to lick my Asian nipples myself!

When my boobs are nice and oily, I move down to my legs and thighs.  They are so soft, but still tight and firm.  I love my legs, but love my Asian booty even more!  I work my hands around to my petite but curvy Asian buns, and spend a good amount of time massaging the baby oil into each round ass cheek.  Then I take a finger and lide it down to my tiny Asian butthole, and lightly rub the ring of my anus!  It feels so dirty and hot!!!!

After touching my teen Asian browneye I can’t take it anymore and have to rub and finger my tiny Asian slit.  The oil on my fingers makes my clit so hot and hard!!!!!!  I have to cum!  Watch me cum right now!

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Pierced tongue woman stripping

At PiercedHoes.com this sexy blonde pierced woman has very nice tattoos, ear piercings and a hot pierced tongue with TWO barbels in it and she just loves to play with them while posing naked!

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Have fun watching this Pierced Babe’s tattooed body as she takes her dress off to pose completely nude and be playful with her tongue piercings!

Liz Vicious

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Liz Vicious is a pale gothic teen with long red hair and a fiery attitude to match (and she goes hardcore too).

Rebekah Dee’s visit

At AmysWorld.com you have the privilege to see Amy’s sexy girl friends like when Rebekah Dee came along to shoot some hoops with her and both of them started taking their clothes off and being playful with one another…

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Feast your eyes on these Lesbian Girls having fun together by playing basketball and stripping to play completely nude then caress and kiss each other!

Olivia Gomez - A Real Filthy Disposition

Olivia Gomez - A Real Filthy Disposition

When you look up HumantoiletBowl in Webster’s dictionary, you see a picture of Olivia Gomez. Olivia is a humiliation junkie. That must come from an abusive upbringing as a child. She may look pathetic, but this bitch lives for it. Oh and does semi hardcore S&M look great with this exotic eighteen year old. She has a pretty face, a nice tight body and a filthy disposition that you’d want to sully. But you’d be surprised that she’s a college coed. Educated bitch that she is would get herself into this kind of shit. But who’s complaining? She’s another willing victim of our circus freak midget. Let’s see how low this bitch can go. What’s more interesting, how low can Baby Gangster take her?

Watch as Olivia gets face fucked and gagged with cock. Tears well in her eyes as her tonsils get stabbed again and again. Soon, enjoy more pussy abuse as Gangster shoves his rod into her tight humiliated pussy in every conceivable angle. Olivia gets a workout as she’s reduced to a quivering mass of holes that needs desperate plugging. Every painful thrust, Olivia thinks, is an act of love. Go figure!

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